Some Gentle Reproof

Rhett has been acting out lately. He seems to want to do the opposite of EVERYTHING we ask him to do. He does not want to share, go potty in the toilet or heaven forbid let mom type on the computer. Everytime he goes into another fit I think to myself I really need to read "the Strong Willed Child." I won't let myself pick up the book until I finish the two books I'm reading right now, "Mission to Motherhood" and "He Speaks to Me." I'm so glad I didn't rush to get it because I would have possibly missed the learning God had for me in reading "Mission to Motherhood" today.

The chapter I was reading was building loving relationships with our children. The chapter was so full with tools I needed to read that it's hard to narrow it down to write this blog. I'm going to assume that there is one area that God is speaking to me in since it was also brought to my attention yesterday. While our kids were playing at the park one of my friends said, "Tara, you don't give Rhett enough credit." Ouch. I quickly retorted "you're right, I know I don't." When Rhett was younger he went to see a geneticist to evaluate whether his birth defects were connected and if he could possibly have some kind of syndrome. It was determined that all three birth defects were separate of eachother and he did not have any known syndrome. Lately I've been haunted by thoughts of maybe he really does have something wrong since he does not talk as clear as other 3 yr. olds or ride a bike as well or just be as big as most are.

Sally Clarkson in Mission to Motherhood says, ""every child should feel that there is no greater champion for his causes than his mother. The best person to confide in, to receive sympathy and affirmation from, should be the mom who gave life to this child." I have to ask myself If I'm too busy comparing my son to others to remember to champion who he is and what he is doing. Lauren wrote a beautiful post yesterday about God's view of her in relation to her view of her son. Along the same lines I'm so grateful God loves me for who I am yet I forget to trust God in letting Rhett be who God created him to be.

The author goes on to say, "....what our children need from us- the grace to grow. If we make them think that we expect perfection, then eventually they may give up trying to please us, because they know they will always fail, or they may spend their whole lives feeling guilty for their failures." I get it. Right now with my children being so young and not knowing God personally I am the main source of grace in their life. Not only do I need to extend more grace but more affirmation as well. I've always known kids need affirmation but when your child goes out of his way to tell you to say "say good job Rhett" after going potty in the toilet maybe it's a sign there could be some improvement in this area.

I'm still pretty confident I have a strong willed child and a book on that topic would help tremendously. I must say thank you though to Sally Clarkson and my park friend for some gentle reproof. Next time Rhett acts out maybe I can mentally check if I'm championing him, affirming him, extending grace and spending enough time on the floor playing weeble wobbles and zoo animals.