Monday, February 18, 2008

New Beginnings

I've posted before about my son being somewhat cautious. His mind never stops working. I'm sure even while he is sleeping he probably has the most imaginative, elaborate dreams because that's how he is wired. He is definitely more of a "look before you leap" kind of kid. Along with some slight motor skill delays he simply will not try something just because that's what most kids at his age are doing. He has to think long and hard about it and be ready in his timing not anyone elses. This trait also runs in one of his parents and it's not me. For example when other children his age were riding tricycles he had no interest in them. I remember telling my mom one year not to buy him one for Christmas because he simply had no desire for it so it would just sit around. Eventually he learned how to ride one but it took him awhile to pick it up and even longer to actually enjoy it. Now he loves his tricycle and would ride it anywhere, everywhere if he could. Since he is going to be five in June we have often asked him if he wants to try one of his friends bigger bikes with training wheels. He adamantly says no and rides off perfectly content on his trike. We have offered to buy him a new, bigger bike and we get the same response. In the past few months while riding with his friend Ethan who has just graduated to a two wheeler he expresses frustration for not being able to go as fast as Ethan and being first. I try to gently tell him it's because of his bike and if he was willing to get a bigger one he might have a better chance. He still responds with his resilient NO!!!

I understand that NO. I too like to stay in my safe little world at times without having to try anything new and scary. I too need people to come along side me and gently nudge me into doing things that might be for my best interest that I might not try on my own doing. One week ago today Rhett faced one of his big fears and conquered it. We were riding bikes at a friends house and they had an extra bike sitting around with training wheels. I asked Rhett if he would try it...NO! I asked him if he would please try it for mommy....NO! I asked him what would motivate him to try this bike? Jason sitting on the curb nearby kind of whispered loud enough for Rhett to hear.."money." Rhett piped up, "1,000 dollars." Well at least I know the boy has a price. I told him I did not have that money but I could give him one dollar to add to his other dollar so he could buy two things at the dollar store. He was starting to cave but still kept saying no. After MUCH persuading he agreed to sit on the bike and let me hold him and push him on a flat surface as long as no hills were involved. I did just that and could not be more proud. We took the bike home in case Rhett decided to do anymore practising with me holding him on a flat surface. He was not too happy about taking it home and told me he was never going to ride it ever again! Later that afternoon while doing homework I asked him if he wanted to go outside to try it fully expecting a protest. Surprisingly he agreed. I pushed him around on the driveway going in the motion of the letters he had just learned to write. He thought the game was so fun he forgot about his fear and let me let go of him so he could try it on his own. By the time his dad got home he was riding that thing all over the place.

Isn't that just like fear? Whatever it is we are afraid of seems so daunting that we can't bring ourselves to even try and once we finally do we realize the hardest part was just letting go and diving in. Once were there the thing that we thought we were afraid of what not so bad afterall. I was so proud of my son for getting on that bike because I knew how much he was afraid of it. I would be perfectly fine if he goes through the rest of his life choosing to not ride a bike. I would not be fine if he lets fear take control and stop him from doing things he might really enjoy doing.
Today we surprised Rhett with a new bike. He picked it out on Valentines Day out of several others because it said RHINO on it. When Rhett wasn't looking Rod replaced the one we were borrowing from a friend with his new one right before he was getting ready to go outside and ride it. We gave him a matching helmet, knee guards and elbow guards. When he saw it outside for the first time his first response was not "NO!" This time he said, "wow, I'm so excited."

One of the biggest pleasures of parenthood is watching my children grow and develop yet at the same time loving them unconditionally no matter where they're at. Although it may be easier to spot growth in children I believe adults should be striving for growth in their lives just as much. We may not be growing much physically but there will never be an end to how one can grow spiritually. In addition if I'm not growing as an adult what kind of example am I setting for my children who have to face new things all the time. In the book, Urgings of the Heart the author says,"People who are whole experience themselves as always on the verge of something more. Present struggles and difficulties are the threshold to new life and growth. Oneself always has the potential for becoming more tomorrow than it is today. Godis always more." I'm sure God must delight in watching me grow yet never failing to love me right where I'm at.

Rhett is taking his bike slow and trying to feel it out and get used to it. I have no doubt today is just the beginning of much joy he will experience with that thing because he ventured out.
Stay tuned for my next post on some new beginnings in my own life.

2 comments:

Lauren Faiai said...

1. I CAN'T BELIEVE Rhett is going to be 5 this year. That's CRAZY.

2. NICE first bike! Really Nice!

3. I love how Emmie is right up in there, ready to ride her own bike!

So cool! Way to go Rhett! Good stuff, Tara! Can't wait to hear about YOUR adventure!

Desha said...

Fantastic post, Sis. Really and truly, this was great.