Once Upon a TIME

I finally got my daughter to take a nap so I could sit down and have some time to catch my breath. I try to start the day off with some peace and quiet but today that time got away from me. I was sitting in my husbands office with the doors closed to try and remove myself from my son and the sound of his cartoons blasting on the television. The problem with that scenario is my husband seems to find peace and production in a room full of stuff. Tons of books, inspirational quotes, files, cd's, Duke basketball paraphernalia etc. I find peace in quiet, simple spaces. The whole less is more theory comes to mind. However I'm not so ignorant to think God can't meet me sitting at a desk staring at a checkbook, mail, a clock and a coffee mug with this mornings coffee left in it so I press on.

God and I got into a discussion about time. I was telling him ALL the things I needed to get done before I go out of town next week. I was questioning why I had to be the kind of person that refuses to take a nap even if my life depended on it. Even if everything on my to do list was checked off, my entire family was out of town and I had pneumonia I still would have a hard time taking a nap. Once in a blue moon I might nod off if I'm bored with a book I might be reading but even then I'm sure to be awoken within seconds by the little ones that run around my house. I don't like this part of me at all. I'm sure if I analyze this behavior enough I'll find the root of my inability to take a nap probably has something to do with how I place my self value in the things I get done through out the day like cleaning my house. Right now I'm too tired for that. I ended my discussion with God by saying, "you're not going to get me t0 take a nap but at least I've stopped long enough in this day to spend some focused time with you."

At that point I left my husbands office to go read a devotional on line. While going through the reading for today I felt God instinctively tell me to go outside in the backyard and lay in the grass. I hesitated for a moment thinking about bugs crawling on me but then looked outside and saw the beautiful sun shining down calling my name. I went outside and made sure to shut the sliding glass door completely behind me so I would not hear my 3 year old calling for me. I just had to trust his life would be protected since he was engaged in such dangerous activities like watching TV and playing school with plastic animals and weeble wobbles.

While laying on the grass I could feel my body absorbing the vitamin D. I closed my eyes and let go. I was not thinking about how I might be wasting time. I was not feeling my sore throat or headache. I was not hearing my 3 yr. old call my name or my 1 year old cry. I was not smelling the dinner that I should have been cooking. I was just being. I did think about how much God loves me and knows what I need so much better than I do. I did feel instantly rested and at complete peace. I did listen to the siren go down the street and delighted in having a moment to actually acknowledge the fact that a siren went down the street. I did smell the grass beneath me and the fresh, spring breeze. Time seemed to stop and I could have stayed there for hours.

After reflecting on my grassy respite I realized God is the author of time. He can elongate the hours in my day if he sees fit. I wonder if there are things on my to do list that God is not even concerned with. Or maybe my to do list is from him but he wants me to approach it differently. Regardless I learned today that I want my time spent to be always responding to the one who controls it. That and if we ever have a bigger yard I will definitely be buying a hammock.